


Blue Feathers

by MakennaSweets1967



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angel True Forms (Supernatural), Angel Wings, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bobby Singer's House, Dean Winchester is Bad at Feelings, Fluff, I Will Go Down With This Ship, M/M, Nearly Human Castiel (Supernatural), Secret Relationship, Winged Castiel (Supernatural), Wingfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:33:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25549012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MakennaSweets1967/pseuds/MakennaSweets1967
Summary: Cas hovered in the air his large wings stretched out. His chest bare covered by a large sigil painted on with blood. Only his trenchcoat draped over his back torn threw his wings.His wings flapped furiously against the raging winds, leaves picking up beneath him. They are shiny black, blue grace dripped down the side. Dean could see them clearly in the dark, almost as if they illuminated him somehow.
Relationships: Castiel & Bobby Singer & Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Castiel/Castiel's Trenchcoat (Supernatural), Castiel/Dean Winchester, Impala/Dean Winchester
Comments: 10
Kudos: 49
Collections: The Destiel Fan Survey Favs Collection





	1. Truly Castiel

**Author's Note:**

> THANK YOU WHO EVER RECOMMENDED MY FIC!!! I will be smiling for a thousand years now it made me so happy!!!

”I have to do it!” Cas yelled over the roaring thunder, the wind shaking the trees violently ”It’s my fault they are here!” 

Dean stood shoulders broad fighting against the wind, howling ”We have another way Cas, you don't have to do this!” 

Cas shook his head determined but not mad ”I do it’s my problem” 

”What am I supposed to do watch you die!” Dean screamed his voice breaking. But his eyes were burning with rage, his jaw set with fury. The earth trembled beneath them, but they stood like roaring wildfires pit against each other. 

Cas raised his hand pressing two fingers against Dean's forehead, his eyes softening ”I’m sorry”

The ground beneath Dean swayed, he felt Cas’s fingertips lift off his forehead. The last thing he saw was Cas’s retreating figure, the trench coat whipping behind him. His shoulders back, a soldier going to war. 

Dean tried to plead with him but the world already went black when he hit the wet soil. 

\--

Blinking his eyes open, panic coursed through his veins. All he could think is Cas. 

He ran, his shoes sloshing in the mud. The cold air harsh against his raw cheeks. He kept running. 

How long had he been out? Dean's eyes darted in every direction. Left, right, forwards, backward.

Cas hovered in the air his large wings stretched out. His chest bare covered by a large sigil painted on with blood. Only his trenchcoat draped over his back torn threw his wings. 

His wings flapped furiously against the raging winds, leaves picking up beneath him. They are shiny black, blue grace dripped down the side. Dean could see them clearly in the dark, almost as if they illuminated him somehow. 

Claws come out of nowhere ripping Cas’s wing from his back. He lets out a blood-curdling scream of anguish. Blinding blue grace streaming from where the monster began to rip off Cas’s wings. Holding on by just a thread of meat and bone. His other wing tried to keep him afloat but he began falling. 

All Dean can do is watch helplessly on the ground below them. 

Cas slams his hand into his chest the Goddess erupting into flames. It let's out a high pitched scream, turning to ash. 

Cas’s grace leaves him, his vessel goes falling, falling, falling, to the ground just a shell now. It's slow to fall like a feather empty without Cas, without wings. 

Dean runs over to Cas’s lifeless vessel, dropping to his knees. Clutching him to his chest, he wails ”no, no, no” 

“Please come back” Dean shakes him sobbing into the bloodied trenchcoat. 

Cas is gone, dead. Dean can't process it all he just rocks back and forth holding the abandoned vessel. A pool of rage bubbling on the verge of combustion. 

Trees break behind him, the earth wobbling, cracking in all directions. Dean drops the body, spinning around. Good something to kill. The angel blade pointed out towards the danger. 

Before him stands a creature as tall as a skyscraper. Blue, with six large black wings billowing out behind it. Four animal heads each with bright blue eyes, a lion, a hare, a gazelle, and a stork. 

Castiel’s true form. 

It should be blinding him like it did Pamela but it isn't. His grace is too depleted. The blade drops from Dean’s hand as he marvels at the magnificence, feeling the euphoric energy coming from his true being. 

Blood drips from his eye but he can't bring himself to look away. 

Dean feels so small in comparison, a speck of dust against Cas’s true beauty. 

”Castiel” Dean shouts, the storming stopped it's only heavy rain now. 

All four heads snap towards Dean, letting out content cries. Dean smiles warily stepping closer to Cas.

”Please come back to me” Dean calls the stork beak poking his chest. Fear bubbles inside of him but he knows it’s still Cas. 

The stork strokes it’s beak along his body returning to it’s position high in the air. His form slumps grace whisping around him, he's in pain. 

Just as Castiel’s true form came it is gone dissipating into a blue light. The ethereal light gliding around Dean brushing past his shoulders. Illuminating his old vessel. 

”Ahh” Dean cries out clawing at his back, the pain from Cas radiating onto him as his light passes by. 

”Dean” Cas groans his eyes open, grace engulfing every inch. His wings are visible again, glowing with grace trying to heal him. 

”Cas you're alive” Dean drops to the ground, holding Cas’s face baring part of his pain. 

His eyes flutter shut, pale, sweaty, and cold to the touch. He is trembling under Dean’s touch even in his unconscious state. 

The rain like sharp knives pouring down on them. Dean scoops Cas into his arms, holding him bridal style. Carrying him out of the forest, towards the bobby’s house. 

Dean doesn't let the pain he shares with Cas bother him he just grits his teeth and walks. The tips of Cas’s wings nearly brushing the ground as he walks. A bright blue glow on his wings. Everything around Dean is a blur. 

”Sam, Bobby” Dean groans his voice strained as he enters the house. Gently placing Cas down on his bed. 

Sam gasps walking into the room, ”Bobby is on a case. What happened?” 

”He’s an idiot Sam” Dean scoffed his hand not leaving Cas’s own ”He went after the goddess Hecate by himself and she tried to tear off his wings. And he killed her but Sammy look at him I just I...” 

”whoa calm down Dean” Sam clasps his hand on his shoulder ”breath, he’s going to be okay” 

Dean shut his eyes tightly nodding. 

\--

Dean didn't leave Cas’s side the rest of the day, waiting for him to wake. He only left when Cas woke to get food. 

”I bought soup,” Sam said gently holding out two bowls to Dean ”How is he?” 

”Better I think he woke up but...” Dean paused his eyes looking off in the distance ”he’s still shaking, and his grace is depleted”

”He’s going to be okay Dean this is Cas,” Sam says sympathetically patting Dean’s shoulder ”Go take care of your... Him”

Sam would have joked about Cas and Dean acting like boyfriends but he caught himself. Knowing Dean was one wrong move away from snapping. 

\--

”Let me in Cas” Dean’s voice reverberated through the hallway, pounding his fist against the door. He tried the handle again. 

Cas held out his arm holding the door closed with his grace ”No” 

”Dammit Cas” Dean roared ”Don't make me break down this door” 

Cas dropped his arm slumping down. Hunched over the side of the bed. His legs dangling to the floor with his wings spilling out over the entire bed, blue grace working its way to fix the one ripped halfway off. Blood smeared down the back of his trench coat onto the bed still dripping from the ghastly wound. Fallen feathers sat aimlessly all around. 

Dean's breath tightened as he saw the pain Cas was in. He came around to face Cas placing the bowls down. Sliding a chair over to sit in front of him. 

He still had blood on his chest but the cuts were healed. 

”Please leave Dean” Cas begged, opening his eyes to reveal a swirl of grace and blood ”I don't want you to see me in this sickening state”

”Cas oh” Dean dabbed his fingers beside Cas’s eyes, his voice delicate ”You don't look sickening, you are in pain.”

”Still” Cas mumbled his unbearable eyes flicking over to the bowl of soup. 

”Here” Dean picks up the bowl, holding it in front of Cas. He scoops some of the soup up in the spoon holding it to Cas’s mouth. 

”I’m not a baby bird” 

Dean tilts his head squinting his eyes, sternly saying ”you are shaking so much you can't lift the spoon” 

Cas sighs closing his mouth around the spoon. 

”When I was waiting for you to wake up, I could feel part of your pain.” Dean whispered as he fed Cas. It was just like caring for baby Sam again. 

Cas’s wings made a small movement causing him to wince, but not before Dean caught an unreadable expression on his face. He downcast his eyes ”I’m sorry” 

”No” Dean reassured ”I was hoping you could do it again because you seemed to heal faster” 

Despite the immense pain it invoked on Dean he knew Cas felt greater pain. 

Cas stared for a moment taking in Dean’s offer ”I can't let you do that, I don’t know why you would be willing to anyway.”

Dean frowned as he placed the empty bowl back down “Cas if you don’t know by now that I’m willing to do anything for you, then I don’t know what to tell you.” 

His head snapped up, part of him did feel like maybe what everyone had told him was true. That he wasn’t part of the family “I just, thank you Dean Winchester, but I will heal” 

“I have an idea turn around” Dean said grabbing the first aid kit under the bed. 

Cas turned around his wings shifting awkwardly as to not hit Dean. 

“May I” Dean asked his hand hovering over Cas’s wing. Looking over his shoulder Cas nodded. 

The wing is heavy but soft as Dean lifts it putting it back in place. wrapping the gauze around it Cas whimpers in pain “sorry” 

“Oh... they are tender I haven’t materialized them since before hell...” Tears welled up in his eyes “I couldn’t bare to look at how tarnished they are.” 

Dean frowned securing the final piece of bandage uttering ”Don’t say that, in my eyes, they are still beautiful” 

He dropped his hand from the wing. A few feathers fell from where his hand was placed. 

Draping his body delicately over Cas’s back he pulled him into a hug. His cheeks burned but he didn’t stop himself. watching the blood and grace drain from his eyes back to normal. Along with the blood on his chest. He may not have been good with words but he had actions. 

“Better?” Dean purred in his ear. 

“Mh hm” 

Pulling away, he missed the touch but he could see the heaviness on Cas’s face “Get some rest, I’ll watch over you”

“Using my words against me” Cas shifted leaning against the headboard. 

—

Dean changed positions in the chair for the tenth time startling Cas awake “come sit here” Cas mumbled his wing fluttering. 

Shifting his eyes back and forth, Dean weighed his options. The chair back digging into him. Dean climbed in sitting, his back hovering in front of Cas’s stretched out wing. 

Cas tried to tuck in his wing to give him space but he couldn’t. “Um” his cheeks pinkened “you can lean back it won’t hurt me” 

“Oh” Dean gaped leaning back. The feathers were warm encasing him in softness. Tinged with a blue color when he touched them, something he hadn't seen from far away. They shivered slightly under his touch “what happened anyways. Why did you have pop out of your vessel.” 

Cas dropped his head back “I heal faster in my true form. I was weak enough that you wouldn’t get hurt seeing it. I’m sorry you had to see it, I know it’s not pleasant looking by human standards.” 

“Are you kidding me Cas” Dean snorted, his fingers pausing their mindless stroking over Cas’s feather “your true form is badass. Plus I like you for more than just your vessel. Me and Sam would still be your family no matter what vessel or not vessel you are in.” 

While talking Castiel’s wings flapped with delight, brushing against Dean and loosing feathers in the process. He couldn’t stop them he felt cared for, “Dean” 

“You don’t have to say anything. But you can’t keep doing that anymore. Risking your life... I - we almost lost you tonight Cas” Dean stared at the ceiling, his hands balled into fists. It always seemed like he couldn't be gentle enough like the anger was too deep-rooted to work it's way out. 

God may have brought Cas back every time but what if this time he couldn't.

Cas shook his head, he was calm. That’s all he could be too tired to get angry. “I know but I didn’t want you to get hurt either” 

Silence fell over them, there was no way to win. Cas laid his head on Dean’s shoulder, his wing unconsciously pulling him closer. 

Wrapping his arm behind Cas, Dean sighed in defeat. His jaw clicking as he let the anger go, his vice “Next time don’t put me to sleep. We fight together. Deal.”

“Deal”


	2. Feather

“How long will your wings be out for” Sam pondered the next morning over breakfast. He was reading a book about angels and their wings. 

Cas shifted in his seat awaiting Dean’s usual late arrival. Intently watching the doorway. As much as he didn’t want to leave Dean his newly almost human state demanded sustenance. He looked back to Sam, “I won’t have enough strength to return them to their ethereal form for a few days at least.” 

“Hm, their lovely can I touch them,” Sam asks looking at one of the abandoned feathers.

Cas shrugged bringing his free wing over to Sam. It didn't feel like anything except a hand. They didn't bow or feel tender under his touch the were just still. Achey but not like with Dean. 

Sam glided his hands over the dark-colored wings, ”they are soft, but I swore yesterday they had blue in them” 

Just as Cas was about to say something, Dean came strolling into the kitchen. Cas’s wings flapped out happily, outstretching knocking over the chair beside him. 

“Be careful with those things” Dean shook his head a slight smile on his face. Glad to have Cas around. 

Sam looked at Cas’s almost uncontrollable wings in fascination. 

”Dude” Dean hit Sam in the back of the head as he walked past. A cup of coffee fresh in his hand, he set the chair back up sitting beside Cas ”Stop staring at him, it's creepy” 

Was that jealously from Dean, no it couldn't be. 

Dean felt Cas’s wing drape protectively around the back of his chair. Exuding a smell of cherries onto him. 

Okay, so it was jealousy sue him. 

”ow” Sam grumbled rubbing the back of his head. His frown turned into a smirk seconds later, he pointed to Dean’s hair ”got something there” 

Dean reached up his fingers touching a soft feather wedged in his hair ”shut u- whoa it’s blue.” 

The feather gleamed with a crystallized dark blue radiating from where Dean touched. 

”It’s what” Cas choked, his wings slamming backward as he grabbed the feather from Dean’s hand. He winced in pain as his wings hit the chair. 

”Are you alright” Dean worried, holding onto Cas’s shoulder. 

He nodded. 

”why was the feather so blue none of the other one's are that blue” Sam asked, tracing his finger over the book's index. 

”um” Cas held his wings taut, glancing at Dean. It's not like he could tell them ”it just is a feather I need” 

Sam looked up at him, eyeing Dean who still had his hands on Cas ”what does that mean” 

”It’s just a special feather, let it go,” Cas said defensively. Shoving the feather haphazardly into his still bloody trenchcoat which was the only top covering himself. 

”Okay” Sam held his hands up in surrender but they all knew he wasn't going to let it go ”I’m going with Bobby on a new case, just stay here and recharge” 

”wait you are going still,” Dean asked looking to the weak Cas, whose wing was securing him in place of the chair. Almost forcing him to say he would stay although Cas said differently. 

”You can go, Dean, I'll be fine” 

”You idgits think I can't hold my own with Sam,” Bobby said in a gruff grumble walking in the door with his bags. He let out a low gasp looking at Castiel’s wing ”whoa I didn't think they were going to be so” 

He moved his hand trying to come up with a word, ”Angelic” Dean answered for him. 

Self-consciously his wing tucked back with the other one already secured back by the large bandaid. It was interesting to see emotions portrayed on Cas’s wings when his human face never portrayed them. 

”Just stay here Casanova I've got years on you” Bobby glared Dean down. 

Dean rolled his eyes ”Fine”  
\--

The house was quiet since everyone left. Cas slept passed out on Dean’s bed. Dean took one of his fannels stitching it crookedly with a needle to secure around Cas’s wings. 

Once Dean was finished he crept through the house. Sneaking into his room he found Cas furiously sweeping heaps of feathers from the perfect circle they formed on the bed. Dean cleared his throat looking at Cas with confusion and worry. 

Cas’s eyes widened looking like he just got caught cheating ”Dean I um, they fell out and I didn't want you to be upset.”

”Calm down I'm not mad” Dean’s eyes softened as he held out his hand to stop his wing from flapping around like crazy ”They make me smell like cherries, that’s better than wendigo guts.” 

”Oh that's my wing oil sorry my wings haven't been properly groomed for a long time.” 

Dean flopped down on the bed causing all the feathers to fly up in the air around him landing in a perfect circle around his head. ”Seriously Cas you don't have to apologize for all your angel things. Just get better.” 

Cas rolled his shoulders the bright grace on his wing had died down to a low hum of light. 

”Here” Dean held out the flannel shirt he made for Cas, grabbing scissors from the bedside table ”this way you get your bloodied trenchcoat off” 

His wing wrapped around himself protectively shielding the coat. Twisting his face up repulsively at the thought ”but”

He brushed his hands together rolling his eyes ”you have a serious relationship with that thing” 

”Okay Impala67, yeah Sam told me” Cas quipped back, picking up on the Winchester snark. Letting his wing fall back to the side though they were still taut. 

Biting his cheek Dean sat up quickly, almost dizzy from the rapid movement ”your coat is already ruined Cas we’ll get you a new one”

Cas stepped towards Dean allowing him to cut his coat. 

Dean brought up the scissors cutting over the shoulder, he was so close. He placed a hand on his bare chest, just as he did Cas’s wing flared out. The other straining against the bandage before ripping it off completely. The wings knock the lamp off of the bedside table sending Dean back with a shock. 

He swallowed looking at Cas’s grandeur his wings flared out, shimmering with blue. His coat slipped off revealing his bare chest. 

All Dean could think was how it was like the start of a porno. Cas is going to climb onto my lap, push me down onto the bed, and... 

His train of thought ended as Cas apologized ”I don't have much control over them, I was startled” 

”mh hm” Dean wetted his lips attempting to drop the previous image in his mind. Along with the blood rushing downwards, it was hard while gawking at his bare chest ”seems like your wing has healed” 

Cas scratched the back of his neck ”the grace stopped healing it up. Now they just need downtime.” 

”Alright well you put this on” Dean tossed Cas the makeshift flannel shirt ”and I'm going to make food” 

Dean quickly scrambled out of the room. the sexual tension almost too thick to move through. 

\--

After a few hours, Dean finished his pie, walking to his room to collect Cas who'd taken up permanent residence there. But the room was empty. 

”Cas” Dean called out. 

No answer came, he noticed a trail of a few feathers leading out the door. Something though compelled him towards his abandoned trench coat. 

Looking around with no sign of Cas he picked it up looking in the pockets but there were no blue feathers. Just a few black ones, Dean grabbed one out. 

When his fingertips touched it, the black color erupted into a dark blue exactly as he had seen it last time. Dean gasped grabbing another, but none of them changed. He didn't know what that meant. Even though every fiber in his being told him to take the feather, he couldn't. Cas said he needs it. 

Dean hesitantly dropped it back in the pocket watching it turn black again. Following the trail, he was determined to ask Cas about it. 

The feathers trailed around the back of the house a few here and there. Dean picked up another watching it gleam blue in the afternoon sun but not like the other one flushed with blue. 

The feathers stopped by a large dirt patch where Cas was flapping his wings in the dirt and rolling about. Dean watched in amusement for a moment till Cas rolled over his wings above him.

Cas pointed them towards the sky stretching them before lying them back down. He began cowering in pain as a few feathers shredded off, bloody were an invisible force seemed to pull at them. Just like a hell hound would attack a person.

Dean revealed himself franticly pulling his gun from his pants point above Cas where the invisible monster was hurting him. 

”Dean” Cas’s wings flew up throwing him to a standing position. 

”what is happening, whose ripping out your feathers” Dean almost yelled in a gruff yet worried voice. Darting his gun around Cas. 

”No monster” Cas held out his hand, Dean dropping his gun looking at Cas with confusion.

”what then”

Cas moved his wing in front of himself for Dean to see it better ”I was getting the unruly feathers out with my grace” 

”Your bleeding Cas” Dean touched a spot, the wings shivering under his touch. Cas saw the crimson color on Dean’s hand. 

He pulled against his wings keeping it in place though it wanted nothing more than Dean’s touch ”the process isn't gentle alone” 

”Stop then” 

Cas turned away, flopping back into the dirt looking at Dean above him ”I have to fix them to bring them to the ethereal plane”

Dean laid down beside Cas sighing, ”Let me help” 

Cas didn't say anything as his wing laid on top of Dean’s body. Eager for the touch of Dean the one person he loves completely. 

Everything amplified by his wings being revealed it was harder to hide his desire. Drawing him to Dean his soulmate, even if he wasn't Dean’s.

Dean ran his hand over the top off his wing. There was something unreal about the feeling. 

”Stop” Cas strained closing his eyes tightly and coming to a sitting position ”You don't have too.” 

”and if I want too” Dean raised an eyebrow at Cas sitting up with him, ”you're not sleeping in my bed with dirty bloodied wings tonight.” 

Embedding his fingers in the dirt he recognized how that came out. He was basically implying he wanted to cuddle with Cas again tonight. Not just because he had no other bed options or because Cas was potentially dying. 

Cas didn't pick up on his intent though, instead, he just turned his back to Dean. Wings on either side ”thank you tell me if you want to stop”

He couldn't hide the smile on his face maybe he should tell Dean.

”Yep now tell me what to do” Dean uncrossed his legs, placing them on both sides of Cas. Getting impossibly closer. 

”Just run your fingers through the feathers once over” Cas relaxed awaiting Dean's touch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk how to put art on here but check out my insta or Tumblr under the same name for art that goes with this story!


	3. Stronger

Cas shuttered under Dean's touch. As he worked from the top down. 

Running his fingers down the silkiness of the feathers. He dug his fingers deeper lost in the feeling and vibration of them under his skin. Almost as if his wings were a cat purring. 

Reaching the long tips of his feathers Cas whined ”please”

He covered his hand over his mouth muffling his little gasps of pleasure. Intoxicating his mind with bliss. Dean moved away from the tip of his wings, "Are you good Cas" 

Cas nodded his head slowly not daring to remove his hands from over his mouth. He worked his way closer to the base of his wing near his back. The feathers were softer and caused his wings to bow under his touch.

Reasoning they are more tender than the others, Dean works with more delicacy. Giving enough pressure to let the feathers fall but not as much to get too lost in the feeling. Still, he can't help but revel in the feeling, getting ever closer to his inner wing. 

"Dean" Cas lets out a breathy moan, muffled by his hands. His wings thrust back against Dean's touch unintentionally deepening his movements into the sensitive feathers. 

"Cas" Dean widens his eyes, but deep inside he is pleased by the sounds he causes Cas to make.

"Ah" Cas nearly screams this time as Dean hits the spot where the feathers meet his human skin. His vision blurring into a white light, ringing throughout his eardrums. His entire body on fire for a moment. Dean yanks back his hand guilt and embarrassment embedding its way into his mind. 

He bits his lip trying to calm his deepest desires, "sorry Cas I'

"It's okay" Cas pants but he craves more. More that is too much to ask of Dean "Let's just stick to other areas that aren't as sensitive."

Dean gulps shaking away his lust "Okay" He starts the other wing this time with less confidence, more awkward hand movements. Each little gasp from Cas skittering him away. 

Despite the tension, he manages to straighten them leaving the few closer to his sensitive zone untouched. They still lack an angelic luster it seems to Dean "Alright Cas"

"Thank you Dean um" Cas didn't know how far to press it had been hours already. 

"What next," he asked shakily.

Cas tapped a spot buried under his feather near the top inner part of his wing "this is my wing oil, to coat my wings."

"You got some wax on wax off" Dean joked.

Cas tilted his head to the side, even from behind Dean knew he was doing that confused expression that always came with the head tilt "never mind"

"This part is more intimate, you have to do the inner parts of my wings, and closer to where the inner wing meets my" He paused nearly shuddering in remembrance "sensitive zone"

”Cas you just stop me if your feeling uncomfortable,” Dean says brushing his fingers over Cas’s shoulder in an attempt to assure him. 

His wings stretch out closer to Dean allowing him to work. Dean dabs the little bump, excreting a hot somewhat silky oil on his fingertips. Despite the lack of color, it smells of cherries. Stronger now, each place Dean puts the oil his wings darken. Shimmering an array of colors under the sun. 

Once the back of each wing is done, Dean moves around Cas practically straddling his lap. 

”Hi” Dean grins at their awkward positioning. His body-loving every second of it. 

”Hello Dean” Cas raises one eyebrow looking down at him. Full top mode.

Dean brushes his fingers hastily through the inner wings able to see the heat in Cas’s face. Hearing the little muffles he tried hiding. He wouldn't be able to control himself much longer. 

Lathering both of his hands he worked his way to the inner parts of the wings. His body inches from Cas. 

”oh Dean” Cas whined when he hit his sweet spot again this time on both sides. 

He couldn't take it anymore Cas flared his wings back pushing Dean onto the ground. Straddling his hips he could see Dean’s darkened eyes filled with lust. Only for a second before Cas pressed his lips hungrily against Dean’s. Every skill he learned from the pizza man being put to use. 

Both of them colliding with passion and vigor. The sexual tension finally broke. Dean dug his fingers into Cas’s feathers, as they kissed. 

Just as they ran out of breath, their tongues swirling in each others mouth Cas realized what he did. He flung himself back, scrambling to a stand. 

”Dean it -” Cas tried to explain but before he could make another sound Dean cut him off coming to a stand. 

”was a mistake I know” Dean shut Cas down, he couldn't ruin their friendship. His heart shattered as the words came tumbling out of his mouth ”it was for me too”

A mistake, the words burned in front of Cas, reminding him he was too messed up to ever be loved. 

”What” something inside him snapped. His face turned cold emotionless. Dean watched him shift rotten shame ebbing inside of him. 

Cas flared his wings at Dean his largest feather held like a blade sharp against his neck. He glared at Dean before dropping it and turning his wings disappeared, leaving behind a few feathers. With a woosh, Cas was gone. 

Dean stood there staring at the empty place where Cas stood moments ago. His mind blank. 

He thought he was doing the right thing but now he wasn't sure. 

\--

”Hey Dean I found out some stuff about angels, bring Cas.” Sam called with a gleeful note in his voice. Rummaging for his book about angels once he entered the house back from the hunt.

Dean came shuffling out in the same dirty clothing he was wearing when Cas left his hair unkempt and dark circles under his eyes. His face was dull without his usual misguided vitality. 

Cas had been gone for days since their kiss, and Dean wondered if he had scared Cas off for good. He may not have been the one to kiss him but what he did feel was unrequited. Cas just got caught up in the moment. 

Sam looked at Dean with worry wrought into his features ”Cas left”

”Left,” Sam asked raising his eyebrows before crossing his arms. 

Dean nodded gritting his teeth, casting his eyes to the ground. 

”I swear there's more drama between you boys than a damn teen drama” Bobby denotes his voice dripping with sarcasm looking worn out from the hunt ”what did you do this time Dean” 

”Really dude runs off all the time and now you're blaming me,” Dean says taking a step back. 

Sam’s face screwed up like a cork ”Yeah Dean because he almost died not three days ago” 

”I know Sammy” Dean mumbled, silence falling over the room. Sam and Bobby didn't sway waiting for Dean to sway. Hardly a whisper came out ”Cas kissed me” 

Bobby gaped at Dean, speechless. He always had his suspicions but Cas wasn’t exactly tenacious when it came to human interaction. 

“What did you say back to him Dean,” Sam asked with an accusatory edge to his voice. Pointing a finger into Dean’s chest “I know you insist on this heterosexual facade but Dean you’d have to be blind to not see how in love you are with Cas”

Dean rubbed the back of his neck his entire face set aflame “huh” he blinked Sam knew. 

Regaining his composure Dean spoke his eyes still glued to the ground “I don’t, yes I’m in love with Cas if that’s okay with you both.”

“You idjit you’ll always be my son, now sort your problems out I’m old and tired. I’m going to bed” Bobby grumbled giving him an affectionate squeeze on the shoulder. When Bobby left the room Dean turned back to face Sam. 

Everything he was rode on Sam’s acceptance and approval “Dean you know I will always accept you. Before Cas even, I had the inclination of how you felt, doctor sexy.” 

“Don’t say anything about doctor sexy” Dean laughed pulling in Sam for a hug. 

“I told Cas that I knew it was a mistake, Sam. This doesn’t change things he doesn’t feel the same about me” Dean admits his eyes drooping, and lips down turning into a frown. 

“Did you ask him that” Sam raised an eyebrow at Dean “or did you just assume you are to shit for anyone to ever love” 

“The second one”

Sam shook his head, grabbing the book back into his hands “You are an idiot Dean. You know why that feather turned blue it’s because his soulmate touched it - you” 

Regret seared down Dean, he called Cas’s kiss a mistake “No it can’t be true” 

“Look Dean” Sam points to a page, tracing his fingers over the words “Angel courting. After an angel falls in love whenever the mating feather touches your soulmate it erupts into blue color. Wings unfurl each time an angel's love enters the room in an attempt to seduce their mate. Angels-“

“Stop Sam” Dean grinds his teeth shoving the book out of his hands “I get it I’m stupid, I called it a mistake Sam.”

“Dean if anyone can fix this it’s you. Go fix it, use your words.” Sam softened, leaving the room with bags in hand. 

Taking what Sam said to heart Dean frantically searches his room. Spotting the abandoned tan trench coat. He grabs the feather out of the pocket, turning it a delicate shade of blue. 

“Cas please” Dean prays closing his eyes hoping for a familiar woosh “come back. I need you, I’m sorry.”

“What Dean” Cas snaps peeved, to say the least. Dean never felt the heat of Cas’s hostility till now.

Holding up the feather Dean looks to Cas waiting for something he didn’t know what. Swallowing down his fear like pop-rocks crackling down his throat. 

Cas spotted the blue thing, anger deepening his features. His eyes turning to paper-thin slits. 

“Bite me Dean” Cas snarled, turning away from him “I’m done” 

Hastily Cas began to walk away each step pounding the ground forcefully. 

“Stop” Dean grabbed his arm spinning him back around. 

“Why it was all just a mistake to you” Cas yelled he didn’t care anymore if Dean knew. Every part of him shattered left with nothing but hurt and rage to pick up the broken pieces. Dean was mocking him with the feather that was supposed to represent their love. He tried pulling away from Dean. 

“Stop” Dean slammed Cas against the wall his forearm holding him in place “stop, stop. It wasn’t a mistake.”

The trashing stopped, Cas tilted his head to the side. His head was still pounding with wet anger on the verge of tears “Don’t lie to me, Dean. I don't need you to pity me, we will go our own ways and you can forget you ever met me.” Cas’s voice wavered, a tear slipping from his eye. He shut them tightly as to not left Dean to see him so vulnerable. 

His words were harsh but Dean knew where they were coming from. The hurt he felt all because Dean couldn’t see past his own blundered self-esteem. 

“It not pity” Dean leaned in so their faces were just inches apart. Gently wiping away one of Cas’s tears, letting him cry fully “I feel- dammit” 

Dean pressed his lips against Cas’s, he could feel his eyelashes as his eyes fluttered shut. His lips we're salty but just as soft and warm as he remembered. The two shapes clicking together like pieces of the same puzzle. Melting into each other when they finally pulled apart Dean smiled “that wasn’t a mistake”

“No?”

“No, why didn’t you tell me about what the feather meant.” Dean held it out securely in his hand. Letting Cas go from the wall but still balancing on him because of his weak knees.

Cas threw his arms around Dean pulling him in sobbing into his shoulder “I didn’t want you to feel obligated to love me in the way I love you”

”Love?” he asked almost as if he couldn't believe this was real. 

”I love you, Dean Winchester” 

After a moment of shock Dean finally spoke ”I love you too Castiel, Cas.”

The two of them chuckled still wrapped in each other's arms. 

”Tell me angel” Dean wiggled his eyebrows twirling the blue feathers between his fingertips ”what other angel courting is up my boyfriend's sleeve.”

”Boyfriend?” Cas cocked his head to the side looking confused ”Sleeve”

Dean smiles awkwardly at Cas ”if you want to be my boyfriend”

”I do” Cas nodded trying out his terms ”Castiel angel of the lord, Dean Winchester's boyfriend. Come closer and I'll show you what I have up my sleeve.”

Dean stepped forwards looking at Cas with utter admiration. Cas placed his hands on either side of his shoulders pushing himself up. 

Delicately Cas presses two small kisses on Dean’s closed eyelids. Tingling over his eye he opened them. 

Before his eyes, Cas’s wings reappeared fluttering softly. Faded in the background every so often Dean could see a flicker of his true form. 

”To share each other wholly we must accept every part of each other.” Cas recited in Enochian ”that is why you could bare my pain with me because you accepted every part of me as I did you.”

Dean cupped Cas’s face rubbing his thumb over his stubble ”Stronger together”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking through this story I am kinda happy with how it turned out! Leave me some feedback what you liked, disliked, or just anything. Stay strong and keep fighting.   
>  \- Makenna Sweets

**Author's Note:**

> More chapters to come thanks so much for the read. Tell me what you think and what prompts you'd like to see from me! Stay strong and keep fighting!  
> \- Makenna Schneidewind


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